Subconscious vs Me: Prayers from the Inside Champion The Distance, January 14, 2024July 23, 2024 So let me tell y’all about that time where I felt like the third wheel between my subconscious and God. This is funny.Put a finger down if you have ever walked into a room where the people in it were discussing you but didn’t notice that you’d entered? So you were able to hear everything said about you but not able to offer a word to defend yourself? You just had to sit back and watch somebody snitch on you? (Puts a finger down.)Knock, Knock. Who’s there? My subconscious is taking over!Imagine being dead to the world sleep – I mean really knocked out. I must’ve rolled over but was still sleep, I guess. I could hear the whole conversation. My subconscious had betrayed me! It was petitioning God for a relationship on my behalf!Photo credit: HubpagesImagine a coworker going straight to the supervisor about an issue that y’all are having without first bringing it to your attention. I imagine you’d feel blindsided because that’s how I felt. Like my subconscious skipped all of the steps in the middle and went straight to the top!And let me clarify, my subconscious really went in! She explained to God the type of relationship and spouse that we desire – advising Him that we are patient enough to wait on the one that He sends, though. When I say sis is a prayer warrior, I mean it! My subconscious was trying to bring Heaven to earth that night in praying for me a man, chile!And to keep it cute, my sisters have told me before that I do desire a relationship. I effortlessly told them that I didn’t. Heck, when one of my older brothers asked, I told him I didn’t see the point. I wasn’t aware of what a man could bring that I wasn’t able to obtain on my own. I guess my subconscious had hoped that I’d grow out of not wanting a man. When I didn’t make progress, though, she took it up with “The Big Guy.” Champion’s CornerLet me tell you four things that I unknowingly did when I convinced myself that I didn’t want a spouse.1. Let fear win/rule For about as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of having a husband and 8 kids! In convincing myself that that was no longer what I desired, I taught myself that my dreams were unattainable and that it’s easier to shrink my dreams than it is likely for God to fulfil them! I allowed my fears to grow bigger than my faith in God to provide me with the desires of my heart that align with the plans that He has for me. I made fear my idol, simply put. 2. Limited hope in my life while carrying hope for othersIf you’ve been in my presence, you know how encouraging I am. My aunt, who is now deceased, used to tell me that I was the family’s “hope pusher”, and I couldn’t see it then, but thank God I see it now. I’ve always carried that torch for anyone close to me, but when I convinced myself that marriage was no longer something I desired, it was my way of squandering that hope for myself. In a way, that taught me that everybody deserved to have the life of their dreams but that I didn’t. I could hope for everyone else, but I couldn’t salvage any for myself. 3. Protecting myself I’ve spent a great deal of my adult life protecting myself, and if you would’ve asked me years ago, I would’ve advised that I’ve done a good job. Now, I’ll tell you the truth. I’m awful at it. Close your eyes and imagine having both hands out with tightly closed fists. You have something in your hand, but the person in front of you cannot tell what is in your hands due to the fists you’re making. The issue is this is double edged: are you preventing the person from taking what’s in your hands OR are you preventing yourself from receiving blessings that are trying to be given to you? It’s God’s job to protect us because only He can see both sides. Protecting myself only hinders my growth and possibly puts off my blessings. Now, I just keep my hands out and trust God to guide me in the direction that He has for me. 4. Being selfish Marriage was the first institution created by God. The older I get, the more I understand that marriage is a cornerstone to life and relationship building. My children deserve to see me being loved properly and healthily. They need to see me in the position that God created me to fulfill, not the one that life has rendered me. So suffice it to say, my subconscious and I had a discussion, and she won. We’re petitioning God for a husband now, but we’re not idly waiting. If you’ve read, “Write the Vision, Make it Plain” you know that we’ve put some action behind our faith! We’re working on growing and becoming HER in the mean time!Action Item:What self-limiting belief do you need to rid yourself of so that you can move forward in becoming HER or HIM? Comment below; let’s chat about it! Purpose